We judge ourselves when we judge others.
Please discuss. How does this play out in life?
I’ll start us out. Mostly we have opinions about people. We like them; we don’t like them. We find them friendly/aloof, attractive/unattractive, annoying/enjoyable, competent/incompetent, etc. If feels like part of human nature to evaluate others.
Having a negative impression of someone seems particularly easy. Once formed, it’s difficult to shift. We probably will find more things to dislike about them ongoing, perpetuating our opinion.
When we find something unlikable about someone else, it’s often because we’re already familiar, too familiar, intimately familiar with that characteristic. Usually because in some way we also embody that trait. Because that aspect isn’t likable and we’re not comfortable seeing it in ourselves, we shift our discomfort by judging it in another.
Today’s message asks me to reflect before judging, to sweep my own back porch before inspecting another’s. If passing judgment on someone else feels justified to me, it’s a sure sign introspection is needed. Unconditional love and judgment cannot coexist, so when I judge another I do not love myself unconditionally.
How about you? How do you avoid judging others?
For more on this topic, please see Chapter 9, Someone Else Has Forgotten the Sharing Within, in my book The Sharing: The Owner’s Manual for Being Human.