It’s probably not what you think
Sometimes others’ actions confuse or disappoint us. We may think we understand an individual or situation, only to be surprised by seemingly inexplicable behavior.
It can feel hurtful. Even more, we may feel compelled to understand. In our need to do so, we may ruminate over what occurred repeatedly, trying to make sense of it. We likely may even arrive at an explanation.
But chances are, what we believe to be true about why things went down the way they did is at best somewhat flawed and at worst simply misguided.
It’s likely that other folks often may not understand why they do what they do. It’s unlikely that we’ll have the magical insight that will make sense of their behavior. We’re trying to make sense of another’s behavior through the lens of our own beliefs and sensibilities.
Our focus is probably best placed on our own behavior. It may help to briefly review what we said and did. We might find room for improvement. If so, we can determine what to do differently in the future. And then we move on.
Our most productive energy will be devoted to what we want to do going forward. We can’t control others but we are completely in charge of ourselves. We have free rein to decide how and if we want to react and what choices, going forward, will make us happier and healthier.
Today’s message advises me of the futility of trying to understand others’ motivations. Understand my own is likely confusing enough. Getting clear about why I do what I do and choosing what I wish to continue doing is the best use of my time and energy.
Please reflect and share. Do you try to interpret others’ behaviors?