You do you.

We often see traits or behaviors in others that seem less than ideal. They may struggle, behave dysfunctionally, or make choices we feel are misguided. We’d like to help them and may feel they’d be happier and healthier if they were more like us.

It’s easy to forget we can never really make someone else effect lasting personal changes. Unless they are highly internally motivated to change, no life alterations they make are likely to stick. Any improvements they might make to please or placate us may come with a side helping of resentment. We simply can’t control their choices in a lasting way.

We can, however, control the changes we choose to make in ourselves. If we observe another behaving undesirably, we can ask ourselves why their behavior evokes a negative response in us. Is this a hot button issue for us? If so, why? Do we now or have we ever behaved similarly? Are we willing to shift our own behavior and forgive ourselves for any past or current poor choices or misguided actions? Can we move on with focus on our own life and decisions?

Today’s message reminds me that if I’m uncomfortable with another’s behavior, it’s time to focus on myself instead. I need to do me, rather than dwelling on another’s beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and actions. When I keep my attention and energy dialed in on what makes me happy, sane, and grateful, my life will be smoother. I can also allow others the opportunity to do the same. Focusing on creating my own happiness frees me from managing others and frees them to take responsibility for their own lives and joy.

How about you? Are you willing to keep the focus on your own actions and choices?