Anger can be educational.
We all get angry. We mostly recognize that anger doesn’t fix things. But we get mad anyway. Often, we feel our ire is justified.
Anger can come on as a slow simmer or erupt suddenly into violent resistance. Sometimes, the vehemence of our irate feelings can surprise us.
Occasionally, our anger can feel empowering. Mostly it is just uncomfortable. We’d rather not be upset but somehow, we don’t know how to avoid it in the face of perceived provocation.
We won’t want to simply stuff our anger. That way lies resentment and possible health issues, physical and or mental.
We also don’t want to remain angry longer term. Holding on to anger will only make us unhappy without solving the problem.
We want to respect our angry reaction and then try to understand it. Anger may cover for another emotion that may be difficult for us to feel. Anger can feel more powerful, so we layer it over our discomfort.
Often, the underlying emotion may be fear. Fear of not being heard; fear of being hurt; fear of not being loved or valued. fear of not being good enough—there are a host of reasons why we might feel afraid.
So, when we’re suddenly angry, perhaps more upset than the situation might seem to warrant, we may wish to ask ourselves “What am I so afraid of?” The answer may surprise us, but it will help us resolve the issue inside of ourselves, making it easier to handle the apparent trigger more effectively.
Today’s message suggests I take a closer look at little niggling irritations. When I understand why they upset me, I can figure out how to deal with them without upset.
Please reflect and share. What has anger taught you?