No regrets

Repentance is futile; acceptance will do nicely.


How often do we regret something we’ve said or done, often bitterly? It seems there is always something we regret and wish we could undo. Our lives can seem like a stream of ill-conceived actions and interactions.

We’re sincere in our regret. We see the results of what we’ve said or done and feel genuine remorse. Sometimes the outcome is not at all what we intended. Other times the consequences are unanticipated and undesired. We wish we could have a do-over.

It’s not wrong to wish things had turned out otherwise, and it’s not bad to take responsibility for our actions. It does, however, serve no purpose to get bogged down in regret. If we can take action to ameliorate the situation, we may choose to do so. But miring ourselves in blame keeps us stuck and unable to move into a more positive scenario. To move forward we need to let go of self-flagellation.

The easiest way to do this is to step away from shock and disbelief—“I didn’t just do/say that, did I?”—and see the scenario straight-on and recognize what really happened. “I just called my mother-in-law a b*tch to her face.” “I just accidentally injured my pet.” “I just had a drink after being clean and sober for ten years.” Whatever it is, we need to acknowledge the event, both the parts we’re responsible for and those we are not. Only by owning precisely what happened can we move on to dealing with an undesired event. We need acceptance to foster effective understanding and action.

Once we’ve taken first step of accepting what occurred, we can step out of separation consciousness. We can stop blaming ourselves or others—creating a bad guy isn’t going to undo what’s been done—and can look for inspiration to get tactical. We are able to open to the divine within us (our sharing within) to find enhanced perception, expanded options, and possible benefits of the unwanted happening. We won’t be able to see the gold in the situation until we look it in the eye, own what’s happened, and connect with our inner divinity for perspective and guidance.

Let’s take a few minutes to explore this right now. We’ll start by connecting with our sharing within through focused breath and visualization. As we let our breath become slow and steady, we will picture a sphere of golden light in the center of our chest. Inhalation feeds the sphere, making it strong and bright. Exhalation spreads golden light throughout us and our surroundings. We’ll continue this until we feel calm, steady, and even—the hallmark of conscious connection with the divinity inside of us.

Now we’ll think of a current situation, one we still regret. The first one to come to mind will be perfect for our purpose. Perhaps we unintentionally injured a friend physically. Perhaps we insulted a co-worker in frustration. Perhaps we allowed a great opportunity to pass us by. Whatever the scenario, we’ll think about it for a few moments and allow ourselves to feel our regret fully.

Now we’ll inhale golden heart light and breathe it out, through and around the situation and all involved. As we do so, we’ll ask our sharing within to help us see the event clearly and accept what occurred. “I wasn’t paying attention and dropped a heavy box on Martha’s foot.” “I was frustrated by lack of progress on my project and blamed it on Fred, calling him useless.” “I was afraid of failure and didn’t take the chance to get a low-interest loan to open my own business.”

We will breathe more golden light into our realization and ask for enhanced perspective. We are still alive; chances are any other individuals involved in the situation are, too. The future is still ahead of us and we have the ability to make choices at any time in our life. We can understand what happened and choose differently in the future.

We are willing to release regret so we can see new possibilities, unlocked by the unwanted situation. Perhaps the accidental injury helps us understand we need to be present in the moment. Perhaps our angry outburst lets us recognize the habit of projecting our perceived inadequacies on others. Perhaps our failure to act fuels our determination not to be held back by fear. We’ll breathe golden light into the situation and our enhance perception of it and say “Thank you.” The sharing often presents us with gifts in the most unexpected ways.

Divinely unique and beautiful reader, what regret are you willing to release? Please share…