Tag Archives: perpetrator

NOTES FROM THE AWARENESS: 556

Realization is circular.

Please reflect and share. How does this play out for you?

We’ve all had situations where we feel others have treated us poorly. It leaves us feeling hurt and puzzled. How could they possibly have felt their behavior was okay?

In any painful scenario, there are two sides to the lesson: the victim and the perpetrator. When we’re the victim, we suffer and judge the other. We may fail to realize that at some point—past, present, or future—we learn the flip side of the lesson. Whether intentionally or unconsciously, we end up being the bad guy. We’ll understand how our behavior can be rationalized until it feels appropriate. In perpetrator role, the victim seems to deserve our poor treatment of them.

Today’s message reminds me that some days I’m the grain and some days I’m the grist mill. Until I’ve learned both side of a lesson, I can’t view it dispassionately. The more neutrally and non-judgmentally I view events—stepping out of both victim and perpetrator role—the less frequently I will have to re-live them to get the lesson. I gain peace and realization when I release myself from the cycle of victim and perpetrator.

How about you? How do you feel about learning both sides of a lesson?