Tag Archives: needy

Notes From The Awareness: 190

Unbalanced relationships are about a mutual lack of self worth.

Please discuss. How does this play out in life?

I’ll start us out. No relationship is ever in perfect balance. At any given time, with any person, we’re either giving or taking more than the other person. Usually over time the flow of energy balances out; both of our contributions tend to be fairly equal.

But we’ve all had relationships in which we predominantly either give or take. On the surface this may see okay, and we may have consciously mustered a list of reasons why the long-term imbalance is acceptable. Yet underneath, emotionally it likely doesn’t feel good. As the primary giver we may sense we’re being taken for granted. As the primary receiver, we may feel needy and incapable. From either aspect of the lop-sided equation, we’re not really comfortable.

Today’s message reminds me to evaluate my sense of self worth when I feel out of balance in a relationship. If I give too much of myself, my time, and my resources, do I undervalue myself and my contributions? Am I overly generous from a subconscious desire to be needed and wanted? Do I fear the other person wouldn’t want to be involved with me if I offered less?

If I am the needy one in a relationship, do I not trust myself to be strong and capable? Do I feel the other individual wouldn’t be as strongly connected to me if I didn’t rely on them so much? Do I use neediness and incapability as a basis for relationship building?

When I allow my interactions with another to be largely focused on enjoyment and shared appreciation rather than obligation and necessity, there can be a healthy flow of energy between me and the other person. Our time together is synergistic, enriching both of us.

How about you? How do you keep your relationships in balance?