Tag Archives: inner work

Notes From The Awareness: 319

Conflict shows us where we’re fearful.

Please discuss. How does this play out in life?

I’ll start us out. Conflict is part of life. From territorial disputes to lover’s spats to strong difference of opinions to internal unease, we all are in conflict somewhat regularly. Some periods of time seem to be more conflict ridden than others for us. We may feel emotionally raw or mentally ill at ease, leaving us primed to rub up against others and situations uncomfortably.

Once we’ve engaged in conflict, it can be hard for us to back down. Our emotions are roused, our blood pressure and other physical indicators are raised, and we’ve devolved into fight or flight mode. We’re having a fear-based reaction in our amygdala (aka lizard brain). With repetition, the emotional and biochemical pattern can become addictive, leading to recurring conflict.

We may feel righteous, judgmental, unheard, victimized, cheated, vindictive, or disrespected. At the core of these feelings is fear—fear that we, our loved ones, or our possessions aren’t safe, fear that we don’t matter, fear that we’re unworthy, fear that we will be left alone or abandoned. The fear needs to act out to shield itself and does so by engaging in offense, defense, or bother alternately.

Today’s message advises me to go internal when I have become embroiled in conflict. Inner exploration to identify the fear underlying my side of the conflict will allow me to address my emotions directly, potentially transforming heated conflict into mere disagreement, at least for me. Healing my fears allows me to be more peaceful.

How about you? What conflicts might you avoid if you felt less fearful?